She was painting her toe-nails in the living room when he came back from work.
“Er, isn’t this a working morning?” he asked.
“This is it,” she said. “It’s all I can do.”
“But you’re not in your office,” he continued.
“Not safe,” she said.
“Not… safe?”
“No. Take a listen if you don’t believe me.”
She opened the office door. A cloud of banshees came shrieking out.
“You’ll never do it, look at you, what do you know? call yourself an expert, it won’t work, it’ll never work, they’ll find you out, they’ll find you out, better stop before you start, that’s right, look at you, what a coward, always stop before you start, run away, run away…”
He slammed the door shut. The shrieking subsided.
“Yikes,” he said, “see what you mean. But what about your laptop, a bit of a blog reading, some twitter time maybe, that always makes you smile.”
“Not safe,” she replied. “You try it”
He pressed the keyboard and watched the machine come back to life.
“All quiet here,” he said.
“Still warming up,” she replied, “you’ll see”
He sighed. She always had way too much stuff on the machine.
Then the wailing started.
Whispers, wailing, shrieking:
“Look at me! This is how you do it. Not like that! This way. That way. No, stop, look at me! You’re supposed to face it fight it ignore it deal with it go on this course or on that programme or just be imperfect I mean look at me I’m so perfectly imperfect can’t you see how it’s done I mean honestly where’s your sense of humour a little bit of wit to show you don’t…”
“Stop it!” he said, “make it stop!”
She closed the lid on the computer.
“Told you,” she said.
“But surely you could read a book,” he said, both an eternal optimist and still unfamiliar with the ways of the creative infopreneurs, “surely that would be safe.”
“Try it,” she said.
“Pick a book. Any book,” she said, “Just open a page.”
He picked a book from the shelf, and flicked to a random page.
The page sneered.
“You again? Still looking. Still not sure. That’s you all over isn’t it, always looking always lost, never really cracked it have you and never really will, well don’t expect…”
He closed the book.
“I’m out of here,” he said. “I’m going to the shed. I’m going to open the door and sit with the lawn mower and some old engine parts and that broken deck-chair we were going to throw out last summer and half tins of paint and a strange assortment of bolts, screws and nails and… you know, stuff. Stuff that doesn’t talk back.”
He went outside.
She went back to her nails.
Nothing for it but to wait. Wait for the wailing to stop and the whispers to subside.
She’d tried fighting them, facing them, working her way through them, round them, despite them. Some times, too many times, they’d won the day, leaving her cowed, small, and drained.
This time was different.
She’d a new secret weapon.
Nothing.
She was going to do nothing at all, and wait for the storm to subside.
Nothing but painting her nails.
~~~
I know, it’s not like me to share stories on this blog.
For one, I don’t write stories. I nearly didn’t write this one, because I couldn’t figure out an ending, and the rapacious inner critic (to whom this piece is dedicated) started sneering and whispering “see, told you, can’t do it, can’t write stories, no stories for you, nothing interesting in your life..”
But for once I said: stop.
Even full of faults and flaws and a tail-away ending I want to write this story. I want to share this story.
Because it’s important.
It’s really important to me to learn how to do nothing when these wailing banshees appear out of nowhere.
To be able to name them, and see if that helps.
And because I believe, I really do, through gut and instinct and years of experience, that writing about things helps to make sense of them.
This one does makes sense, of sorts, to me. I hope it does for you too.
Photos, writing, prose poems and poetry, plus short courses and materials to help you capture the art of everyday wonder.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kevin Sinclair. Kevin Sinclair said: Getting Unstuck with Words http://ff.im/-j07CO [...]
Hi Joanna, You’ve demonstrated that a story can be captivating even without a tidy ending. I like slice-of-life, it-could-almost-happen-to-you stories where the author creates a mood that you remember even after the story’s details are forgotten. You’ve done a remarkable job of it!
.-= Brad Shorr´s last blog ..When Should a Company Be Funny in Marketing? =-.
Little confession: I was reading your story and kept looking over my shoulder. She can’t be seeing this?!? It’s impossible. Then sighed…oooh, it’s not about me
I just go away and come back later. Meet a friend, walk in the park, watch a movie. It works most of the times 
I so loved your story! But as you can see, I am a little biased
.-= Alina Popescu´s last blog ..Produc?torul de brânzeturi, imaginea femeilor ?i o nou? revolt? =-.
Very nice and pithy, Joanna! I liked it, since I can of course identify with it very well. *sigh*
Had an interesting thought at the end though. Right there at the bottom is the line, “No related posts.” And I thought, “NO related posts? Heck ALL of mine are related!” (If you get my meanin’!)
.-= Robert Hruzek´s last blog ..Signs of Life =-.
Hi Joanna - Great story and great reminder to “embrace the stuck” (the U.S. Marines will forgive the pun, won’t they?). For much too long I’ve tried to fight the block banshees, and I would have had a much happier time of things and prettier toenails, too, I imagine, if I’d come to this realization.
.-= Betsy Wuebker´s last blog ..Shakespeare at the Guthrie: Macbeth =-.
Twitter: ullahe
says:
Joanna,
I very much liked to read this story. It made me see and hear the monsters (I immediately thought of Havi’s blog), and that’s what a good story does, doesn’t it - make its reader see and listen.
.-= Ulla Hennig´s last blog ..Pansies =-.
Shhhh - I’ve managed to escape detection, I’ve only got a few secs . . .
Loved this approach to getting your point across - and I thought the end/wrap worked. It works for me, anyways. Good job!
.-= ami´s last blog ..The gift of humility =-.
[...] you Joanna. Share and [...]
Nothing is where I find some of my best strength. It’s where the clouds get out of the way.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Find Your Strengths Among Your Team =-.
Priceless, absolutely priceless. It’s a window perfectly complete and gorgeously framed with a view that stretches all the way to true.
(I personally use “spa” to filter out the banshees: soaps and scrubs and shampooing…necessary nothing time….and maybe some nail polishing too… LOL…
Thanks for putting this one out there.
.-= Janice Cartier´s last blog ..Gentle and Small =-.
T’was genius and fun. Thank you.
Nothing, if in the Now is very powerful, powerful enough to silence the banshees … or harpies … or howling inner demons.
.-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..A dog is best friend in home safety, too =-.
Painting ones toenails is fine. Unless you’ve had a few too many bowls of ice-cream. Instead of painting, I’m in favour of laying back and contemplating my left baby toe. It’s had pins and needles for over a month. Never mind, the lesson is to improve upon the nothingness of now.
Nice story. Thanks, Joanna.
This is an awesome story. Thank you.
.-= Naoko´s last blog ..[Copywriter's Chronicles] Syncro =-.
Twitter: JanScottNelson
says:
Reading this has given me an insight into another aspect of the wonder that is Joanna Paterson. Yes, I knew you struggled with negative voices, just like the rest of us, so that bit wasn’t new. It was the peep into your extraordinary creatve life force, your unique way of seeing and sharing your world. The humour, the fun, the serious message, the bells this story set a-clanging - what an experience these five minutes have been (well, ten, I read it yesterday too, and dreamed of it last night).
And you know I’ve been fighting against ‘just stop’ - so this is perfectly timed. Thank you
.-= Jan Scott Nelson´s last blog ..Writing what we don’t know =-.
Joanna,
Loved your story. You should write stories more often.
.-= Lillie Ammann´s last blog ..Blog: Private Home or Public Meeting Place? =-.
Twitter: emapocalyptic
says:
I *love* this! It made me giggle and nod in understanding. Wonderful, not only in its entertaining nature, but also a great demonstration of how story can make something awful that little bit easier to digest and deal with. Those banshees eh? Noisy, aren’t they?
.-= Emma Newman´s last blog ..Adventures in e-book pricing =-.
Mmmm. Do Nothing. Good Advice. I always forget that one!
I will add it to my list of taming tricks.
Sometimes my voices are Gremlins and sometimes they are Monkeys. We’re naming one of mine today at Magpie Girl. He’s was banging on his cymbals while I was trying to write. But I had Nanny take him to the park. Also, I fed him peanut butter. (Banshees, Gremlins, Monkeys, Lizards…funny how they are all related.)
Thanks your for adding this tool to our artistic tool kit!
Twitter: karenswim
says:
I read the first line in my reader and thought “hmm wonder who Joanna is quoting?” I kept reading and my eyes grew wider, “Joanna wrote a story!” By the end, with mouth agape, “Good gosh, Joanna can REALLY write a story!”
My long way of saying, it was wonderful! I completely related polish and all and am tickled that you captured it with such reality and humor. Joanna wrote a story. 
.-= Karen Swim´s last blog ..Rock it Out in the Key of You! =-.
Twitter: joannapaterson
says:
Brad thanks for that feedback - much appreciated. Most of the things I half-write are this kind of slice-of-life material (partly because my life seems to come along in strange slices!) and I tend to dismiss this as not ‘dramatic’ enough. Maybe I should persist with trying to find my own form…
Alina I’m so glad! Not that you have the banshees too
That the story was vivid to you. Go away and come back later is a sound strategy, not least as it works. It can feel counter-intuitive though - like we ‘should’ be doing something to ‘break through’ our blocks… or at least that’s where I’ve been getting stuck, stuck in my own stuckness. I’m hoping this story will help me break free!
Robert I do, totally get your meanin’ and your comment made me laugh - I think all of mine are related too
Thanks Betsy it’s lovely to learn from each other about things that have worked and things that haven’t… and sharing kindess with each other as part of learning how to be kind on ourselves… I know I’m liable to look back and think ‘but why didn’t you figure this out earlier‘ but in reality… I think that figuring is a necessary part of the journey
Ulla yes it is, and thank you so much for saying so
Twitter: joannapaterson
says:
ami thanks for sneaking out! Feedback much appreciated
J.D. i love that… “nothings is where the clouds get out of the way”
Janice thank you… I am learning, slowly… how to go with the flow of this thing called creative practice
Lori hmmm… nothing, in the now… I like that… it has a stilling, powerful quality to it
joylene I love the idea of the nothingness of now!
Thank you Naoko it means a lot that you and others took the time to comment on this one
Twitter: joannapaterson
says:
Jan what can I say… thank you.
Lillie it’s not something I ever thought I’d do, but after this little foray… maybe
Emma thank you my friend. And yes, absolutely, about how story can make things better.
Hi Rachelle thanks for popping over… I’ve tried lots of other taming techniques too but have to confess doing nothing currently seems most appealing! Good luck with your own wee devils…
Karen I think I’ve said this before… your comments have always been the most powerful affirmations for me. This one simply made my day. Thank you
This… is a precious bit of writing! Thanks for sharing, Joanna!
.-= Karen Putz´s last blog ..On Being Deaf =-.
Joanna
I can’t tell you how timely this was for me…..so I am off now to look out the brightest nail polish and get going.
BTW - I have had conversations with members of my family along the lines of “I thought you were meant to be working..” - the challenge of working at home I guess! I will point them to this if/when they do it again
Thank you
.-= Jackie Cameron´s last blog ..How to get over your fear of public speaking =-.
Twitter: joannapaterson
says:
Karen thank you x
Jackie glad it struck a chord, and thanks for helping to spread the word about the need to do nothing sometimes!